“All 7 And We'll Watch Them Fall” (Season 7 Review)

You know that philosophical question about a tree falling making or not making a sound if nobody hears it? Well, here's another one: If a season that wasn't expected to be that great for Alex did pretty much what I expected it to do, could it still be considered a disappointment?

I guess the answer to that would be “Yes”. And Season 7 would be Exhibit A.

Before I start, a quick word or two about the final quarter of the season: It was pretty much a repeat of the third quarter, with Alex mostly being reduced to the role of bystander (or less – she went missing for the third time this season in “The Party”). She had a big (but terrible) story in “Crazy Train” (more on that later), and had small roles in “Man Shouldn't Lie” (celebrating her “anniversary” with Sanjay), “Promposal” (creepy Reuben asking her to be his prom date, and Alex winding up winning a bunch of humanitarian awards for accepting out of pity), and the finale “Double Click”.

In short, there was nothing nearly as life-changing as last season's final quarter, instead ending the year with something of a whimper.

Which, unfortunately, like just about everything else about this season, came as very little surprise to me.

After all the attention Alex's senior year got in that final quarter last year, a letdown this season seemed inevitable. I figured the first few episodes would be the highlight of the season, and that's how it worked out. But the petering out process happened too soon – except for a couple of moments it was pretty much downhill after the first three episodes, as Alex mostly faded into the background as the rest of the season wore on.

In fact, we had one of the earliest Alex-less episodes in a season in years, as she wasn't in “She Crazy”, the fourth episode. Thankfully that did not become nearly as big a trend as I feared – I thought she might miss as many as six episodes this season, but she only(???) missed three. Of course, seeing as there were only 22 episodes total this season, that meant the 19 episodes in which she was seen was the fewest in the show's seven seasons.

Another fear that didn't totally get realized was the fear that many of the episodes would only feature Alex in a scene or two at school talking to her family via Skype or phone (and without being a meaningful part of any story). That only happened once, in “The Cover-Up”.

And my biggest fear that popped up just before the season started thankfully turned out to be a total misunderstanding: Alex sneaking out of a liquor store with a crate marked “Tequila” in “The More You Ignore Me” didn't lead to big trouble for her (legally or at school) – it was just ice she was bringing to Reuben to soothe an injury.

But, speaking of Reuben, now let's talk about the disappointing aspects of this season:

First of all, I still can't fathom why Alex turned to Reuben of all people as a rebound after Sanjay broke up with her. Even if you get past the fact Reuben's still a junior in high school, I still consider him a creep for his past interactions with Alex (in “Larry's Wife” he snuck up behind her to kiss her, then later “won” a date with her in a poker game). That she'd even briefly find comfort by dating him was disturbing, and it actually took a couple of episodes for her to come to her senses.

Another thing I didn't like over the course of the season was how many times they made Alex not be as smart as she's supposed to be. I guess we could bring up Reuben again, but really the worst example of this was her school assignment with Maisie in “The Storm”. 1) Why would she put her project at risk by letting Phil within 100 feet of her computer, and 2) why didn't she back up her data to a thumb drive (or if she did, why didn't she remove it when her computer froze, before Phil fried the hard drive)? That just doesn't sound like something Alex would allow to happen.

Also, there was the fact that in “The Cover-Up”, when Jay was calling for advice on handling an online troll (his closet nemesis), she handed the problem off to some of her schoolmates – why not do it herself? Maybe she was busy, but wouldn't they be, too, or was there an implication that they were smarter than her and had more time to handle an additional problem?

And she showed uncharacteristic naivety in falling for that guy in “Crazy Train”.

Third, I was hoping we'd see more of her interaction with her CalTech roommate, Maisie.  But that never really materialized (I'll get back to that later as well).  Which sort of leads me to the last problem of this season:

I still don't know why Alex was seen spending so much time at home over the course of the season. Yes, it did mean we did get to see more of her (sort of), but I found it totally unrealistic – she has been craving the independence she was going to have from home when she started going to college - don't forget one reason last season she said wanted at first to go east was to get away from her family for a while. And yet, three weeks in she was running home at the first sniff of adversity, and then she seemed to spend more time at home than away. Is it any wonder her homecoming in “Double Click” wasn't considered a big deal? It felt as if she had barely left in the first place.

And notice I said “sort of” when it came to seeing more of Alex – her spending more time at home than expected didn't lead to that many stories of Alex's life (pretty much only “The More You Ignore Me” and “White Christmas”). And it took away the potential of more big stories about her campus life (“Spread Your Wings” was about it).

All in all, that's why this season was a disappointment, even if to begin with it was expected to be a down year.

For the rest of the review, lets do a few “awards”:

Best Episode: “Spread Your Wings”
This was the easiest award to come up with, as only “White Christmas” could come within hailing distance of it (mostly for Alex's singing). It featured the best ever story (also by a wide margin) between Alex and Phil.

Worst Alex-less Episode: “She Crazy”
Obviously with (thankfully) only (???, again) three of these episodes to choose from, this one doesn't require a lot of decisions. “The Party” was definitely the best of the three, while “Thunk In The Trunk” was just plain dull. “She Crazy” was more than dull – I didn't really like any of the stories. The one with Phil and Lily and the duck eggs was the most disappointing – I was hoping for more emotion from that story, and they really should have explored more the similarity to the ducklings and Lily both being adapted. Not to mention I felt this was a story they could/should have done with Alex and Phil years ago.

Worst Episode With Alex: “Crazy Train”
Actually, as a whole this wouldn't have been such a bad episode if it weren't for Alex's story. But the cruel way they treated her (having her fall for some guy only to have him turn out to be a con man, ending with him stealing her wallet, plus there was an awkward scene with Manny) more than made up for that, so to speak.

Most Disappointing Episode: “The Storm”
This should have been the most interesting episode of the season, as it marked the return of Alex's hyperactive roommate, Maisie. When word of her return came out I was so hoping for a story of how the two were getting along after being roomies for several months. Alas, their story turned out to be little more than an afterthought.  And, as I mentioned earlier, there were the inexplicable decision by Alex to not save their work before her computer crashed.

Most Head-Scratching Episode: “The Verdict”
First of all, the whole premise of Claire taking Alex and Haley to “Take Your Daughter To Work Day” was absurd – I thought such events were supposed to be for grade school and high school kids – not college-aged kids. Then, when they finally get to the office, Alex and Haley don't get to do much of anything, with the story being basically about Claire and her employees. Other than keeping family members together in one story, what was the point? At least give Alex some hands-on training about the business aspects of the company, if indeed Jay's wish of having her someday be the leader of the family are to come to fruition so that she has an idea what to do.

Best Moment: The hug from “The Day Alex Left For College”.
While it was disappointing that an episode with Alex's name in its title had little to do with her, the hug between her and Haley was priceless.

Worst Moment: Alex realizing that her supposed soulmate in “Crazy Train” was nothing more than a thieving fraud.

Most Feel-Good Moment: Alex taking the cannonball plunge in CalTech's pool (“Spread Your Wings”)
Not surprisingly there weren't many moments to choose from here either - it was between this moment from “Spread Your Wings”, and a moment from “White Christmas” - Alex's “Silent Night” duet with Fig. It was good to see her actually have fun for a change.

Most Heartbreaking Moment: Alex crying over her breakup with Sanjay (“The Closet Case”)
OK, I lied: THIS was the easiest award to figure out – not even Alex's reaction after their first “planned” breakup in “Summer Lovin'” came close. Have a Kleenex ready if you even so much as think about this scene.

Alex's Funniest Line Of The Season: “One of my professors taught a chimpanzee how to play the saxophone. We all think he's great, but, he only plays jazz so there's no way to tell.” (from the robotics lab scene in “Spread Your Wings”)

Alex's Saddest Line Of The Season: “I am alone.” (from the scene with Luke in her dorm in “The Closest Case”)

And, that's a wrap, I guess. Thank you everyone for having the patience to read my rantings over the past season. You'll hear from me once in a while over the next few months but don't expect a lot until probably mid-August.